Everyone has their secrets

Everyone has their secrets
In konoha, everyone has something they can't tell. Some can be funny, some can be painful. But to each person they mean the world. *Discontinued*

Chapter 2: Naruto



I really should have been careful. I knew that taking those pills would probably affect me but I had no idea that they'd affect me this much!

I'm trying my best to cope with it, but it's hard.

Noone knows yet...

I'm not sure if I can tell them. It would be pretty hard to accept...

I was diagnosed with it when I was young, like really young. Some nice doc saw me on the street.

He was a traveling doctor... really nice dude...He gave me a check-up and everything.

I still remember his warm hands, patting down my chest, taking my pulse. All those weird instruments he had stored in that large cart. He gave me all sorts of scans and stuff, I can't remember them all. I mean I was really young at the time. Still...

He was the first person to actually get so close to me and he was really nice...

I still remember how he had shaked his head, those grey eyebrows of his turned up, a sad frown on his wrinkled face. He turned around and brought out a small pad, actually it's the same one I'm using right now. But I've been using it as a journal these past years.

The old man scribbled a bunch of things in the first page, then turned around to tell me that I was diseased, something called Sickle-cell. It's a really harsh disease, rare too. Not too many people have it and those that do don't last long.

It starts out as a genetic abnormality in my hemoglobin( the oxygen- carrying pigment of red blood cells that gives them their red colour and serves to convey oxygen to the tissues). Normal red blood cells carry a molecule called Hemoglobin A , which healthy people have. Unfortunately I have a hemoglobin S molecule, which isn't so different from the other one except for one small protein. This in turns makes one tiny little difference dangerous to my very life!

And like I said this affect is deadly to my health considering that stupid abnormality lies along my amino-acid chain, also called a Beta-globin. Sickle-cell disease is a result of all this.

And do I hate it all.

So, as I was saying, having a hemoglobin S affects my cells oxygen-carrying abilities. Eventually that air loss helps develop this sickle-shaped blood cells. This process is called polymerization. These now sickle-shaped cells can't pass through my veins, so they end up blocking the path of some of the other healthy cells. And if that's not bad enough, my other tissues and organs begin to hurt from the lack of oxygen.

Kinda like being strangled, but for like most of your life.

The higher the concentration and the more acidic the environment, the faster the sickle-cell process. All this blockage also creates dehydration to my cells. The only good thing so far is that only 20 percent of my cells are affected. But of course they die quickly and then more cells are affected. So basically my body can't keep up with reproducing more blood cells. Even the kyuubi can't do much with his wonderful healing capabilities.

If the sickle cells are re-introduced to oxygen then they will return to normal. But that doesn't happen often. The old man had even written down a whole bunch of symptoms. Not all affect me but the ones such as: Delayed puberty, joint pain, and from time to time( for me anyways) energy loss. It gets really aggravating and I begin to loathe it.

I already woke up, choking for air that my lungs couldn't reach, last night. My hand is still shaking, and the signs are becoming more evident. My body can't last much longer under this kind of illness. Hell, even a an onslaught of kunai are better to deal with than this.

So basically I'm dying, and I've kept it secret from everyone And the medication helps somewhat too.

I have to take all sorts of pills that can stimulate a hemoglobin F ( another sort of molecule that actually helps the body protect against sickling) so things aren't too bad. I mean I have like every colour of crayon for pill bottles hidden under my bathroom sink, but why should that bother me?

I have Decitabine, Argenine (those are for stimulating HemoglobinF's), Coltrimazole, Magnesium, Nitrendipine (For dehydration), Cord blood, Cordox, ReothRX, and Anticoagulation just to name a few.

I have so many pills that I try to keep them all colour coded, makes things easy for me. And the funny thing is when I go for refills all the time noone seems to care that I'm taking out all sorts of drugs. You'd think they'd have me investigated or something?

It's almost 5: 30, time to take my other set of pills. Honestly this just becomes terribly deary after awhile.

And everyone thought I was some happy, go-lucky idiot, without a care in the world.

That's nothing but a lie, I have every care in the world.

Considering I won't be in it for much longer...

Uzumaki Naruto
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Sunlight bounced off his hair as he strutted around his own apartment, a damp towel wrapped around his still wet waist. Water droplets fell in his eyes from time to time, no matter how much he tried to shake them out from his yellow crown. It was quite annoying among other things. His orange jumpsuit was already splayed out on his bed, waiting for him to slip into the familiar fabric. 'Later..' he thought. He threw his towel somewhere of into the distance, standing naked infront of his closet mirror.

He studied his own body, frowning in anger while his eyes only darkened with sadness. The sickling was beginning to affect his bones now. He noticed some of the swelling mentioned on the front of his journal, and knew right away that the sickling was beginning to mess with his bone marrow. "So that's why I feel extra tired and weak today," he mumbled to noone in particular.

He sighed again before slipping into his boxers and leaving the room, to head back to the bathroom. He already had the pills that he was told to take in the morning, placed all over the white counter. Cerulean eyes darted over each coloured container. Eight bottles in all, meaning eight different pills he was forced to swallow. He sighed again, and turned the tap on filling a yellow tea cup positioned on the counter for this purpose. One by one he engulfed each pill, drowning it down with a mouthful of water.

It was like waking up all over again. He didn't hurt as much, he even felt his burst of energy rush through him. That's how these pills worked. They let him feel as if everything was normal, as if he was never diseased, while the whole time under his skin he was slowly dying. Naruto doubted if medication actually had any affect on his tired body. He placed the cup down and the whole room swam. Dizziness, a normal side- effect to one of the pills he just swallowed. He didn't care which one any more. He let himself fall to the bathroom floor, breathing in deeply as the nausea passed him. 'Will there ever be a normal day for me?'

He fell into routine, preparing a cup of ramen for his breakfast( why bother eating healthy when you're already deathly ill?' and got dressed. He made another entry in his journal, noting how he had spotted his joints swelling, before clearing up a bit to leave for the day. He grabbed his pouch, strapping it to his belt. His weapons were in there, along with another set of pills placed in a small candy dispenser. Naruto took every measure to never get caught.

He looked in the bathroom mirror on his way out, ruffling his blonde hair then slipping into his idiotic fox grin. Everyone had their masks. Then he walked out of his apartment, locking the door, before jumping off whistling the whole way to the training grounds.

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Team seven sat under the shade of a couple trees, waiting impatiently for their teacher. The damn fool was always late, it was so god damn irritating. And when he finally showed up he always had some stupid ass excuse. It really grated Naruto as he sat under the oak, contemplating all the things that had ran through his mind ever since he found out. Death was the main topic, but there was also talks of the future, and what would happen after he was gone. Voices that bounced around in his head, driving him nearly insane with all those 'ifs' and 'Maybes'. His fingers were busy tangling themselves over each other in a desperate attempt to keep from jumping up and taking off right then and there. 'I just don't have the time for this!', he yelled in his head.

Just when he felt his last nerve give way, Kakashi showed up. Before the smoke even cleared his students were all over him, bellowing away their annoyance at his continuos late's. The copy cat ninja didn't even bother to give an excuse, just smiled through the black material of his mask. "Well, if you're all finished, I have a mission for you all." They all went rigid, falling silent to hear what this mission would be. "We have to help put up streamers", he announced with a smile. His students hit the ground hard, before they jumped back up again to rant on about the absurdity of their assigned task. He looked at them surprised at their anger. "Did you guys forget what week it is?"

Naruto shut his mouth, watching as his fellow teammates did the same, trying to think what week it was. His sensei sighed as all three teens looked up at him, confused. "It's Konoha's anniversary. We have to help set up decorations. Oh and we're expecting other nin from all over the country to come join us for the festivities. That means gaara and his teammates will be coming." Kakashi watched gleefully as Sasuke went rigid, along with Naruto. No doubt both boys wanted to spar with the red- head. He turned around signaling with his students that they were to follow. They had to get busy if they wanted to finish quickly.

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Naruto hung upside down, busy tying down a green streamer. These things were so freaking annoying in his opinion, and were really unnecessary in the long run. He finished up and sat down on one of the red-tiled roofs. No doubt the others had finished long ago but it didn't matter. He looked at his hands as they began to shake violently, a tight pressure building on his chest. It was time to take his pills, actually a few minutes past his time. They had started up when he had begun this street, but he ignored it so he could finish this ridiculous chore. Then he could rest.

He pulled out the orange candy dispenser, then pulled out a water bottle. He quickly dispensed the nine pills into his mouth, followed by a large mouthful of water. His eyes grew heavy and threatened to throw him into the blackness circling the edges of his vision, but the shaking stopped and so did the pain. He sighed in content, lying down on the roof, basking under the sunlight. 'Mmmmm...this feels nice...'

He nearly drifted off to sleep when a gong rung out. He sat up suddenly, fear gripping his heart. It took him a few seconds before he realized that it was just the village gate. Someone was coming into Konoha. He felt like going back to sleep but curiosity won this argument. He leaped past different rooftops, eyes quickly glancing down at the people below. Finally he had reached the gate. A small crowd was already assembled, silent as they stared at the sand gennin.

Naruto sighed before leaping down, and walking up to the crowd. 'This guys are soo annoying. You'd think they could at least act friendlier to our allies.' Naruto could feel the tension running through the crowd, and decided to break it. He walked back a little ways and opened his mouth, yelling loudly. Then he ran forward, amazed at how the crowd had easily awakened from their trance and had moved aside. He got to Gaara easily and had grabbed the other's arm, before pulling him away to safety. Temari and Kankurou followed.

He opened his mouth and began to spout nonsense about nothing in particular. 'Gotta keep up my facade.' He noticed how Gaara never said anything, didn't even bother to remove Naruto, which slightly bugged him. Noone ever let Naruto hang onto them, not even Gaara. He hid that fact that he had noticed that though, keeping his expression happy and idiotic. But after a bit the silence had gotten under his skin. He turned around to notice such sadnesss in the red-head's eyes.

'I haven't seen sadness like that in a long time..', he thought, swallowing hard. His eyes grew warm as he continued to gaze into those foggy depths, being wrapped up in the same darkness and pain that plaqued his dreams. He lived with that sadness everyday. Gaara lowered his head, and quickly brought it back up again. Naruto continued to gaze into his eyes, noticing how the guy was confused to have the other looking at him. Naruto was about to say something when Gaara growled at him, so he only grinned widely. It was always better to pretend.

They all ended up going to his favourite ramen shop. The rest of team 7 was there along with Iruka-sensei. Naruto grinned even bigger. Seeing Iruka truly did make him happy. He sat down beside his former teacher launching off into a long chat about more meaningless stuff. He even managed to order a bowl of ramen at the same time. The day progressed, with him half-listening to the conversations going on around him, and with him also spouting on about some type of ramen he liked best. Eventually Iruka noted it was dark and that our guests had no place to stay for the night. Before he knew it, temari and Kankurou had places to stay and the onyl one left was gaara.

Naruto raised his hand and in a cheerful cry declared that Gaara would be staying at his place. 'I need to find out what's bothering him. Why is the guy acting sadder than usual?' Naruto let Iruka pay for his food and then hauled the sand nin out of the stall and down the street to his house.

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Naruto waited til Gaara had went into his room, before bolting to the bathroom. His pills seemed untouched, but he couldn't be sure. He felt a sharp pain echo through him and he reached for his last set of pills. He shoved twelve pills in his mouth and turned on the faucet, filling his mouth with water. He swallowed them all and rested against the bathroom wall. The pain in his knee edged away, and he sighed in relief. He got to his feet and left the bathroom, heading over to his room. He fell asleep quickly, having also taken a sleeping pill, his blue eyes wavering on Gaara for a bit until they finally closed.

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It was all about living. He began to realize that the floating feeling he was experiencing at the moment was nothing but a dream. The tombstone beneath him was just something made up by his mind, due to the agonizing knowledge of knowing he was fading. This world...he would leave it so much sooner than the others. A slow dark shadow passed over him and before he realized it, he was losing air.

He coughed himself awake, clutching his chest, trying to dig into the flesh to relieve the agonizing tension. His legs kicked out in distress, his eyes crying tears as he was longer denied oxygen. He turned over the side of his bed, heaving all over the floor, his lungs still crying for air. An electric pain shot up his spine, frying his very nerves as he screamed out in pure torture. He had finally gained some air, and found himself in gaara's arms.

The other ninja was holding up away from his bed, naruto's feet just inches away from the puddle of puke. He clawed at the red-haired teen, screaming still with intense ferocity. He had to get away, had to get to his medicine. Had to save his life for one more day. Gaara was yelling back at him, trying to question him, trying to figure out what the hell was going on. Naruto noticed the guy was just scared out of his mind, as he had never been in this position before, but he didn't care. Wasn't he making it quite clear that he wanted to be let go?

He scratched Gaara's face, blood pouring down from right under those light green eyes. He had finally gotten free. Naruto ran toward the bathroom, but a sharp tug on his wrist stopped him. "Dammit Gaara let me go! This has nothing to do with you!This is my problem so just leave me the FUCK ALONE!" He had actually managed to get words past his swollen throat and hurried into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him and locking it.

He threw the cupboard doors open and downed a bunch of pills, his whole body acting as rubber. He slipped on the tile floor and fell, not bothering to get back up again. What was the point? Before long he had fallen back asleep, no longer in pain. He woke up a few hours later and got to his feet. The floor was too cold for him now, and his body was as heavy as led. He wiped drool from his lip, grunting as he struggled to stand. The lock clicked as he opened the door, and stepped out, walking back to his bedroom. That's when he noticed the whole place was silent.

He called out Gaara's name, but gave up when he couldn't even make more than a whisper. He stumbled into his room and found the floor clean. The guy had been nice enough to clean up his mess even when he had been acting as an asshole. Naruto slipped his black journal out from under his mattress, turning his lamp on. Yellow light flooded the bed, creating large and ominous shadows. Naruto opened a clean blank page, scribbling over it with his awkward hand writing. All the while crying.

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Man I'm cruel. I really am.

I mean I should understand that gaara was just trying to help but what could I do?

I was choking, I was literally dying in his arms and the guy had no fucking clue to let me go. I had to get to that bathroom, I needed to get to my meds...

I never wanted to hurt him, to scare him away. There's something about him, something that he's not telling anyone.

I just...I don't know...I mean...well...

Ugh... dammit...I'm so confused...

I wanna apologize... I want to say sorry...

I mean...I'm an ass...

God...I'm being stupid...I mean crap...I just want...

Shit, stupid pills! I'm getting drowzy...I can't even think straight...

Tomorrow...I'll make it up to gaara...

I swear...

I'll make things right...I just hope...

...he doesn't tell...

Uzumaki Naruto